Wanted Guests, Unwanted Anxiety

I have issues, I know I have issues, sometimes I can even handle my issues, sometimes. Not tonight. I try to be a good host. I even try to be a good friend, but I never want my friends to meet each other. One of the my deep insecurities is that I will introduce my friends to each other and they will hate each other sticking me in the middle as a referee. Or even worse they will like each other better than me and say “What are we hanging around this loser for?”

Anyway, the Carsons and the Smiths both decided that they were going to come to the house tonight. Both are always welcome, but I spent all day fighting off a major panic attack. It turns out that it was warranted. Kathryn jumped all over Marcus for language, and it just went downhill from there. I ended the night and most of the next day making everyone hate me. FUN, FUN, FUN.